Remind the believers of these things, charging them before God to avoid quarrelling over words, which succeeds only in leading the listeners to ruin. 2 Timothy 2:14
Who here is active on twitter or any social media app? I am sure you have seen or perhaps even engaged in a war here or there about who is the best this or that. If you are ‘religious enough’, perhaps you have even argued about how often we should read our bible or some other dispute about theology. We love to believe we are superior to others and unfortunately we lower ourselves in the process of trying to prove a lie. Grandstanding and arguments are distracting and do not add value to those listening or reading and will take you down pride’s slippery slope.
I started to type that I did not have any personal anecdotes today because though I used to love to argue a LOT, I have realised that there is no point. Lol but that's not true at all, I quarrel over words with my mum and sometimes my husband. In fact the more I meditated on this verse, the more I saw how I quarrelled over words not just verbally but in my heart as well. I saw how if my husband did not put wipes exactly at point A, I would begin to rehearse lecturing him on the perfect way of things. I had to really laugh at myself and thank the Lord for humbling me. Perhaps you’re thinking ‘well that’s not the same thing, no one else is listening to the quarrel so no one is coming to ruin’. Hate to break it to you (but not really), my husband or whoever it is I am quarrelling with and myself are listening to the quarrel and I am leading both of us to ruin. Yep! Neither of us are benefiting from the quarrel except to create strife.
So what’s the solution? I mean he has to know he’s done something wrong hasn’t he? Well sometimes yes, but not if we are gleeful about ‘correcting’.
How do we lovingly pass the message across? First I’d say take it to God and lay it at His feet? Again? Yes, again and again and again.
Then, I would suggest leaning into the vulnerable areas and sharing your hurt rather than putting your guard up to attack.
To avoid getting into quarrels,
Start your day with prayer and study of the word and be intentional about meditating on scriptures throughout your day (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2, Phil 4:8).
Determine in your mind to be kind and not quarrel (2 Tim 2:23-24)
Prepare how you will respond should a difference in opinion come. (Prov 15:1)
If you are already in the heat of the quarrel,
Take a moment and understand in your heart that you’re not doing anything constructive by quarrelling and stop (Pro 17:14).
Bonus audio below
Excuse yourself if you have to or change the subject
If it is something that is worth discussing, pick a time when you are both level headed and discuss it respectfully
I know these things are hard, believe me I understand. But can we make an effort to try considering what happens when we quarrel over words? God bless you as you do.
Ruin: the state of disintegrating or being destroyed.
Quarrel: a heated argument or disagreement.
I love this! I used to be so argumentative as well and I thought I got a hold of it. But then, I realized I used to quarrel in my heart and it affected my countenance towards the particular person. Taking it to God has helped me.
Thank you for this!