Day 18
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1
I struggled with writing this at first. I didn't feel like reflecting this morning about how I did not love myself or let God love me in the past and how that reflected in how I treated others. But upon close examination of my ‘feelings’, I could tell it was just the enemy trying to stop me from sharing this testimony. So share I must, my testimony is for God, I witness for Him and Him alone.
It’s hard to love others correctly when you don’t love yourself, it's hard to truly be kind to others when you don’t think you deserve kindness, when you feel like a prisoner trapped in chains, you are not able to allow others to be free. I remember after a transformative encounter with God, I started referring to everyone as dear (lol) . My boyfriend at the time was shocked and told me to stop being fake but I couldn't help it. Something had changed in me and I wanted everyone to feel the love I was experiencing inside me.
One of my favorite scriptures for relationships is Matt 22:37-40
‘Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets’
The first commandment makes it clear that the only one we should love with all of everything, no holds barred is God. The second commandment which speaks directly to today’s topic centers on how to love our neighbors.
Jesus says plainly to love our neighbors like we love ourselves, not more and not less. When we err on the side of loving more, we dishonor ourselves in the process and when we err on the side of less, we end up dishonoring others.
We are in conflict with others because we are in conflict within; our flesh warring against the spirit, our selfish desires warring against our godly desires. These ongoing battles hinder us from loving ourselves and others the way we have been commanded to. To have true peace, we must bring to submission the desires of the flesh that seek to destroy our soul 1 Pet 2:11.
If you find yourself fighting often with others (online or offline) or demeaning yourself for others, perhaps it is time to assess yourself and look within with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Let God shine His light in your dark areas. Let Him reveal the conflict you are dealing with internally. What we truly crave is obedience to God, fulfilling our original design. Succumbing to the flesh means we are going against our design so we can never have, obtain, ask or receive (James 4:3) because we are working in the complete opposite of our design.
Next time you find yourself in disagreement:
Ask God for help: Prayer brings you in line with the heart of God, the more you pray, the more He shows you how to pray, the more your desires begin to align with His and your heart starts to reflect His love for you and for others
Acknowledge your part in the matter, learn from it and move on. Never mind what the other person has done, leave that to the Holy Spirit and them. Obsessing over how they did this or that will rob you of peace and growth. There’s always a lesson to take forward even if it is to avoid certain triggers, etc